Rediscovering Me

So New Year, New Me. That's how it goes come January isn’t it. Well 2 and a bit years after Poppy died I feel like I’m getting to know and understand the post loss me better. I feel a little more at ease with the road I’m on. I feel I understand a little more...

The Joy, The Grief, The Forever Missing Piece.

So that’s it, Christmas is over and we’re into another new year. Our third Christmas without Poppy and our second with Reuben. Christmas after loss has been a whole mixture of emotions as always. The joy of seeing the magic amaze Reuben, the grief that we have done all the things we should have done...

The Lights & Buzz – I Just Want You At Christmas

All I want for Christmas is you my sweet Poppy. It’s coming up to our third Christmas without you and it still just as painful. Christmas can be tough when you’ve lost a baby or child. Add into that the whole Parenting After Loss and it’s a whole new bittersweet winter emotionalland. When Poppy died...

Dear Poppy – Advent To Remember

Dear Poppy So it's December and it’s now the run up to Christmas. A time of year that I love and also get so sad during. 2 years ago this was meant to be our first Christmas with you. Instead we were sat missing you, just wanting you for Christmas. We decorated your grave and...

Dear Poppy – I Wonder

Dear Poppy I often wonder what could have been. Wonder what should have been. Gazing up at the stars I always think of you. I know you are always with me, I know you’re the extra strength when I’m down. You’re always in my heart, forever in my thoughts. I wish I could go back...

Home To An Empty House

Taking your baby home is one of the best days after they are born. Even more so if you’ve suffered the loss of a baby before. After Poppy died we had to walk out of the hospital with no baby in our arms. Fast forward a year and we got to take Poppy’s rainbow baby...

Reuben’s Birth Story

After the traumatic and awful labour Emily had with Poppy and losing her we didn’t want to go through the same with Reuben. So we agreed with the hospital to let Emily have a c-section as early as possible. We had it booked in for 37 and a half weeks. 9th November. I wrote about...

Dear Poppy -Your 2nd Birthday

Dear Poppy This week you turned 2 and I can’t believe it’s been 2 years since we finally got to meet you and then 3 days later had to say goodbye to you. I can’t believe these 2 years have flown by so quickly. The last few days it’s really hit me. All the emotion...

Dear Poppy – Forever & Always

Dear Poppy Daddy will think of always and love you forever. I will love you forever and always sweetheart. I’m laying here in bed It’s getting late and You are supposed to be here Cuddled up in bed with us I’d enjoy that cuddle a little longer Until I carried you to your bed But...

Life On The Neo-Natel Unit

Living on a neo-neonatal unit while Poppy fought for her life was hard. Surrounded by premature babies who were slowly getting better, while we waited for any signs or news that Poppy would be ok. A tough place to be but also a safe place to be. Isolated in the hospital, away from the maternity...